Heart break

Aku rasa hidup aku teramat kosong. Dulu aku disayangi, selalu dimanja, selalu diberi perhatian. Dan sekarang semuanya dah hilang. Aku rindukan semua tu. Aku rasa hidup aku kosong tanpa dia. Aku kena redha dengan pemergian dia dari hidup aku. Tadi aku tulis pasal dia pun berjurai air mata aku. Aku tak dapat tahan. Sekarang pun aku masih menangis. Menangis, menangis dan menangis. Itu peneman hidup aku sekarang. Aku dah tak ada apa. Aku cuma ada Allah dan keluarga. Kawan kawan? Entah lah. Aku sekarang macam disisihkan pun ada. Aku tak kisah. Janji aku tak ganggu hidup dieorang.

Aku.... Sayangkan dia sangat sangat. Aku tak tahu apa dah nak buat. Aku buntu. Tak apa, aku tetap akan menantikan dia. Aku harap suatu hari nanti dia akan jadi milik aku. InsyaAllah. Mungkin aku dengan dia tak ada jodoh. Tak apa, aku redha. Aku akan berusaha untuk dapatkan dia jika aku mampu. Jika aku mampu. Selagi aku masih ada peluang, selagi tu aku akan berusaha. Doakan aku eh?

Aku akan teruskan hidup macam biasa. Dan aku tak akan hiraukan siapa siapa yang cuba membenci aku walaupun dekat luar sana dah terlalu ramai membenci aku dan aku diamkan. Even kawan sendiri pun benci aku dari belakang, aku tak kisah :)

Tahun depan, aku bawa jauh diri aku daripada sekolah tu dan mulakan hidup baru. Mungkin aku pindah tanpa bagitahu siapa siapa kot. Aku kan dah tak penting bagi dieorang. Entahlah..

And now, aku cuma mengharapkan dia. Cuma dia. Sayang aku akan tetap utuh untuk dia :) Assalamualaikum.

When we being love with someone that we want, it feel like this world is yours. But when we lose on it, we lose the world, heart and everything.Its just like me. Im tired to being hurt. Im not a doll. I've a feeling eventhough I never show it. I only show my love in front of you. Not in front of our friend. You never understand me. You want me understand you and show my love for you. Im sorry, Im not type of that girl. Im a shy girl who want show her love in front her beloved one. Im glad that I'd love you and I'd have you before. I hope you'll never come back in my life.

Im a sixteen years old girl who want a happiness and someone who can love me perfectly. But I didn't found it. My life now I feel very lonely, lifeless, full of sadness and too many fake in my life. Why? I've been hurting before. Until now I feel its too hurt. I have crush on someone but I don't feel the love. Where's my love go? After being hurting, Im just too lazy to love someone even he try to take my heart. Im afraid that I'll lose someone who I love. Yeah, Im very afraid about it. So, being single is the best way for me.

Dhia ♦ Fahan ♦ Ekin ♦ Yatt ♦ Ummi ♦ TeaDno ♦ BellaLuna

The blog started May 2009. I made it as my online diary. Not a private, but a public diary. All inside my heart I wrote on it. I want to share to everyone and give you opinion about my entry. Sorry for broken english.

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I'd my first love on 13 April of 2012 and I lose it on 22 August of 2013. Its to hurt to remember it but I try my best to put it here. We'd love and need each other every time. On night weekend, we always on the phone until morning. Even sleepy, but I still want to hear his voice. But, I don't know what happen to us. We always fight and sometimes I felt want to give up. But I chose to stay. And one day, on 7 June 2013, he called me and crying. He said I love you but I gave him another chance. About one month later, I knew he had another relationship behind me. Eventhough we had a relationship, but he didn't tell to anyone. And at the end, I leave him eventhough he said that he love me. Arghh, I don't believe him anymore. He had a new one but he still don't want to let me go. Im not a doll. Again, Im not. I want someone who know what I feel. I never show my love to everyone but I hope you can feel it. If one day he'll lose someone he loved, I'll smile on it. Why? Because he'll feel the same that I felt before.

The living memories // 2012
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