Heart break

Today is 13 April of 2014. Yeah 13. If Im still with him, its about 2 years our relationship. Its not relationship but relationshit. And I never regret that I leave him. He deserve it. I hate a gamer. Because they didn't appreciate someone who loved them. If they been on that situation, they'll know how hurts who was being game in love. And now, he happy with his beloved one. Im glad on it. He can found another one while he had a relationship with me. Congrates. He didn't know how sad am I know about that. I feel like I lose him on that day. I lose him to another girl. I feel Im a loser. Yeah, Im a loser. Until now I feel like that. I really don't want to see his face. But what can I do. We are in the same school. When his friend saw me, they'll shout his name. Damn it! I really hate it. Im not his girlfriend anymore. Why you should shout my name? Go die dude. He didn't know how to appreciate me. What he know is to have a fun with me. Yeah, I really fun with him, happy and so on. But an about 1 years, I suffered a lot. A lot. I can't count how many times I cried about him. Why? Because I really love him before. Him? Just in dream maybe. In relationship with him just waste my time, my money and everything. My result in examination was down when Im had a relationship with him. But now, Alhamdulillah. Im better now. Eventhough Im not fully move on, I'll try my best to forget him and move on. I wish I never know him and never be his ex. But its too late. Very very late. What can I do? Just pray to Allah and hope that someone can heal my heart again. I hope so :')

p/s: I wish I can sleep with him like 2 years ago :')

When we being love with someone that we want, it feel like this world is yours. But when we lose on it, we lose the world, heart and everything.Its just like me. Im tired to being hurt. Im not a doll. I've a feeling eventhough I never show it. I only show my love in front of you. Not in front of our friend. You never understand me. You want me understand you and show my love for you. Im sorry, Im not type of that girl. Im a shy girl who want show her love in front her beloved one. Im glad that I'd love you and I'd have you before. I hope you'll never come back in my life.

Im a sixteen years old girl who want a happiness and someone who can love me perfectly. But I didn't found it. My life now I feel very lonely, lifeless, full of sadness and too many fake in my life. Why? I've been hurting before. Until now I feel its too hurt. I have crush on someone but I don't feel the love. Where's my love go? After being hurting, Im just too lazy to love someone even he try to take my heart. Im afraid that I'll lose someone who I love. Yeah, Im very afraid about it. So, being single is the best way for me.

Dhia ♦ Fahan ♦ Ekin ♦ Yatt ♦ Ummi ♦ TeaDno ♦ BellaLuna

The blog started May 2009. I made it as my online diary. Not a private, but a public diary. All inside my heart I wrote on it. I want to share to everyone and give you opinion about my entry. Sorry for broken english.

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I'd my first love on 13 April of 2012 and I lose it on 22 August of 2013. Its to hurt to remember it but I try my best to put it here. We'd love and need each other every time. On night weekend, we always on the phone until morning. Even sleepy, but I still want to hear his voice. But, I don't know what happen to us. We always fight and sometimes I felt want to give up. But I chose to stay. And one day, on 7 June 2013, he called me and crying. He said I love you but I gave him another chance. About one month later, I knew he had another relationship behind me. Eventhough we had a relationship, but he didn't tell to anyone. And at the end, I leave him eventhough he said that he love me. Arghh, I don't believe him anymore. He had a new one but he still don't want to let me go. Im not a doll. Again, Im not. I want someone who know what I feel. I never show my love to everyone but I hope you can feel it. If one day he'll lose someone he loved, I'll smile on it. Why? Because he'll feel the same that I felt before.

The living memories // 2012
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